1 blog + 1 blog = 3 blogs?

Note: pressing enter at the wrong time immediately publishes a blog! This is truly an atrocious interface. It is obvious that I'm struggling with it.

The most important lesson I learned from my LiveJournal account in high-school was that blogs are not the place to discuss relationships or relationship issues. A blog is not an actual journal. It should not be used as a therapeutic device for you, since you know other people are reading it! That compromises the privacy, which is essential to the positivity of therapy. The problem in high-school was the twinge of excitement associated with broadcasting feelings so personal. That sort of high comes at the expense of losing the confidence shared between you and the individuals in your audience.

For these reasons, I will never post on this blog about my relationships; it's simply antithetical. But relationships bring out the most important questions and characters--I want to share them! So what's a blogger to do? Let me share two wisdom nuggets (mmmm) before I make two suggestions.

First. In all relationships, I raise my concerns with the other person first and only then ask for others' thoughts. It demonstrates my respect for that person and my acknowledgment that it is only with them that I could ever act upon the issue. Accepting that fact is always the first step towards true resolution. (Such direct discussion is always my first suggestion when people ask for advice.) Consequence: relationship issues have no place on my blog.

Second. 1+1=3 is my favorite lesson from the controversial Human Sexuality course with Dennis Dailey. It says the relationship does not consume the two individuals (1+1=1). Instead they have created something new together (contrast with 1+1=2). (Marriage should not change a woman's last name.) Consequence: respect a relationship as you would an individual.

I see two options.

• I can post reflections inspired by my relationships. These are my thoughts about me, and hence fair game. (This line seems a thin one.)


• What if a relationship had its own blog? It'd be weird, yes, but it could be neat. The couple pair (friendships too, of course!) cooperates to write the posts after important conversations and decisions take place. Or they share happy things they did together. It'd be constructive, thoughtful, and wholesome. I am sure I would smile at my friends' blog.